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A word about being phony

September 26, 2011 6 comments

My high school reunion recently happened.  I am not saying which one, or how many years, no sense in you trying to trick me! I had mixed feelings about going, I kept vacillating,  but in the end, I had a conflict that weekend and couldn’t go.

The reason I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go or not was because the thought of high school brought up a lot of old feelings for me.  I was always “trying” to be “somebody”.  After graduation, I didn’t really keep in contact with anyone.  And it’s not because they weren’t good people, in fact, Facebook has brought some of those people back into my life, which is awesome.  It was more me.  It was exhausting for me to try to keep up with the silly pretenses I had set for myself.

Thankfully, this is no longer the case and hasn’t been for a while.  I am not trying to “be” anyone or anything.  I am just me.  I am the happiest I have ever been.  And what may seem ironic, is that I feel my true calling is marketing through social media.  One may assume a marketer has to be a “spin doctor” or not be authentic to sell.  But that is the beauty of social media marketing.  It only works if you ARE authentic.  You can spot a phony in this field from a mile away.  I think this is why I am so drawn to it.

There has been some online conversations about the Internet, and if it is indeed the great equalizer or not.  In a way, I think it is, and let me explain.  It is an equalizer in the sense that I can, right now, become of a part of a large community without having to be exclusively invited.  Whether I am accepted is up to me, my behavior, authenticity, and values.  At no other time could this have happened.  Sure, I have a four-year degree, but so does just about everyone else.  This doesn’t make me stand out to potential employers or business contacts.  What does make me stand out is me: My end of the conversation, my ability to give and to support others, and my ability to receive with integrity.

I no longer feel inadequate like I did at 16 (and, honestly for a good chunk of my 20’s).  It may have taken me a while but I finally learned just to be.  I think the next time I will go to my reunion, no matter what, and I will challenge myself to be grateful to that 16 year-old-girl, because without her I wouldn’t be where I am am right now, which is a really amazing place to be.




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More about positive thinking

September 20, 2011 6 comments

Since my injury, my computer has become my best friend.  To say I’ve had a lot of down time is an understatement.  Besides my loving family and friends, what has been seeing me through is my positive attitude and social media.  Let me explain.

At the suggestion of by both my real estate-guru friend, and one of my favorite co-worker’s, I began reading a lot of books on positive thinking and the laws of attraction (like attracts like). I can’t say any of the concepts were new to me, just somewhat pushed aside or forgotten.  This post may be sounding awfully like some of my other recent posts, but forgive me, I feel the need to shout-out the benefits I am reaping!

Since opening myself up to opportunity and monitoring my thoughts (and more importantly my mood) so many great things have been streaming my way.  Four guest post slots, including one that is live today on Mark Schaefer’s Blog {Grow} which is my first guest post not on the outdoors, but social media, my other passion.  And then late last night I received a call about a new opportunity that I don’t want to go into just yet, but is very exciting as well.

Even my children are noticing a difference in my attitude.  My daughter pointed out to me that I seem happier a few days ago.  Seems kind of ironic seeing as how I have an external fixture on my leg that is mostly painful; yet it is true, I feel happy and grateful for every good thing in my life and apparently, it’s showing!

What I’ve been up to

September 12, 2011 5 comments

I have been a bit quiet lately with my blog.  I am still sitting with my foot elevated with a metal frame embedded into my calf.  I have never been this inactive in my life.  Getting up to go to the bathroom has become my daily exercise!  A far cry from my usual life.  But don’t worry dear readers, I have been keeping my spirits up!

I have been reading books on marketing, positive thinking and positive thinking in marketing.  They have been so helpful!  Just before my bouldering accident, I was feeling my career was in a rut and was feeling down and helpless about it. I have been using this time to reclaim my once optimistic outlook and have succeeded.  I have always used visualization and goal-setting to manifest what I want in life, such as my truck, travel (I have recently gone to Puerto Rico and Paris), the time for pursing my hobbies, and having a terrific partner in my life that loves me and my kids. I have attracted all of these gifts into my life.  My career has been the only slow spot in my list of desires, so I have taken this unexpected pause as a sort of gift to focus on my professional life.

The only thing I have been slow on is writing.  I have two guest posts I have been working on, but have been feeling a bit blocked.  So my goal for this week is to finish both of those posts!  In the mean time, enjoy A New Independence  a guest post I wrote about living life on my terms for Vertical Girl, a women’s climbing clothing company.

An unexpected pause

August 25, 2011 9 comments

An unexpected pause, it is different than a pregnant pause.  Or maybe it isn’t in this case.

I recently dislocated my ankle in five places.  It was not broken, thankfully (I attribute that to my diligent consumption of calcium) but it was so badly dislocated after resetting it the doctor had to place metal screws and pins to keep it from shifting back.  I am now on crutches, cannot put any weight on it, and have to keep it elevated for about six weeks.  After that I will have to wear a cast.

The strangest thing to me is how it happened.  I was bouldering, which I am not very good at, and don’t often do.  However, I was climbing pretty good that day.  I was one move away from sending it.  It was a move where I was horizontal to the ground and had to reach back for the last move.  I didn’t think I could do it, so I decided to jump down and try again in a few minutes.  I jumped down, and landed perfectly on my feet, my knees slightly bending to absorb the shock, when suddenly, in my head I felt searing pain and felt my ankle buckle under in a really not-natural kind of way.  I then dropped to the floor and then sat up.  My friends asked if I was ok and very quietly I said no, that I wasn’t ok and I was pretty sure I needed to go to the hospital.

My boyfriend sat behind me while preparations were being made to transport me there.  For a minute, the pain was so bad I didn’t know how I would cope, I thought I might pass out.  But I didn’t.  I didn’ t scream, I didn’t cry, I didn’t get bossy or mean.  In crisis I tend to get really focused and calm.

As soon as we got to the hospital the attendant that helped wheel me in told the nurses at the receiving desk we needed a room right away; that there wasn’t time to admit me.  The bone had not poked through my skin, but it was wanting to something fierce.  The skin above it was white and transparent.

After taking some x-rays the team of doctors decided to put me under anesthesia and do the procedure right away even though I hadn’t been fasting.

So fast forward to me, here, on my living room couch, living as an invalid for the next few weeks.

But the whole thing is so weird to me because it was such a random thing.  I honestly, 100%, think my descent was spot on.  So was my landing, yet my ankle says Fail.  Another weird thing that happened the same day, was a person I had been dying to do a guest post for emailed that day and asked me if I was interested.  Yes please! I can’t help but think this is the calm before some storm.  Like the universe is forcing me to relax because change is in the wind and it’s gonna get crazy.  I feel like everything I have been working toward is culminating.

I don’t know, maybe it is just me that is crazy (probably).  All that I know is that I am maximizing every minute I have off of work to write, read, goal-set, visualize and connect.

Dirtbag climbing: Family style

July 23, 2011 8 comments

Mt Rushmore

Taking my kids on their first road trip out West may have left me broke, but it was so worth it. Not only was it their first time west, but also their first time outdoor climbing and first time dirtbagging it.  We took I-90 out to Lander Wyoming and hit all of the attractions like Corn Palace, Mount Rushmore, Badlands, Wall Drug then rounded it out with a (too short of a stint) through the Tetons and Yellowstone.

Being a single mom who doesn’t make a whole lot of money, I knew deciding to take them on a trip like that would be a stretch.  My plan? Do it as cheaply as possible!  Which meant choices like: cereal with milk on the back of the tailgate in the mornings in parking lots for breakfast.  The first morning of this my 12 year old showed her disdain by rolling her eyes and scrunching up her nose, “Really mom?”  Yes, really, my little diva!  We also lived on Nutella, PBJ, and other simple foods.

My son eating breakfast

Other dirtbagging tricks were on the way out sleeping in my truck.  My son was short enough to lie down in the backseat and my daughter and I reclined the front seats.  It was really pretty comfortable.  When we arrived to our destination, the International Climber’s Festival, we opted for the free camping, took $2 showers at NOLS, and I volunteered to offset the cost of my admission.

By the middle of the trip they pretty much embraced our hippie ways.  One of the funniest things was when we stopped at a truck stop in Rapid City for a shower.  My daughter was like, we can’t stop here, it is full of “burly men!”  I told her to trust me, it was perfectly legit.  My days from following the Dead taught me many tricks of living on the road.  She calmed down when she saw it was in fact clean and not at all sketch.  This trip reminded me of how much fun I used to have in the summers living like a hippie, I fully embraced it and had a great time, my attitude wore off on them and they started to relax and have fun with it too.

My daughter crushin' it at the Ok Corral

Road tripping out West is the quintessential American experience.  I am really grateful I was able to do this trip with my kids.  It is something they will always remember.  I giggle when I think of them at my age talking about it to each other, saying something like, “Remember when our crazy mom took us out West when we were kids and we lived like dirtbags?  That was so cool!”

Don’t miss my guest post on PembaServes detailing the International Climber’s Festival.


								

How Stella can cure a girl’s blues

Tacoma

Girls and trucks

I have secretly wanted an International Scout or a beat up old Ford pick-up truck ever since I can remember. But, seeing as how these vehicles aren’t very practical, I have been driving around in my mid-sized car and making it somewhat of a habit to date guys with badass, sexy trucks to get my fix; my favorites being of the Toyota family.

Now I know this will sound very stereotypical, but it seems to me that the quintessential outdoor vehicle for chicks is a Jeep, and for dudes, it is a truck. So for a long time it never really occurred to me to have my own truck. I was content to date guys that had trucks. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t exactly criteria, but it definitely helped their case.

I was also content to use other people’s rope and quickdraws when sport climbing. I told myself, naw, I don’t need to buy my own, I’ll just date guys that have all of the gear I’ll need.
So you see my flaw. I had made myself dependant on other people, usually men, to: 1. Climb anywhere outside. 2. Access remote climbing areas. I’ll admit, I may be slow at times, but I usually come around to reason and I now see that this is totally wack.

I pride myself on my independence. I love having my own place and am not eager to jump into a relationship just because a hot guy looks my way. Oh no, I am really picky and if the earth doesn’t move, it’s not worth it to me. So this behavior just did not fit me at all. I have been told by guys that I am intimidating. I don’t try to be. I am just me and know what I want. If they can’t keep up, or are insecure, it’s not my problem. So what was my problem? Why was I acting like Climber-Chick-Cinderella waiting for her knight to ride up in his Shining-Toyota-Armor to escort her to the crag? Ick. Things had to change and fast.

Rest assured this botched up fairy tale does have a happy ending. I am now the proud owner of a Petzl Nomad rope, half a dozen Black Diamond Hotwire draws, and, my pride and joy, Stella Blue. That’s right; I bought a 2008 Toyota Tacoma, who is so sexy and badass! But, most importantly: Mine. All, mine.

Puerto Rico mas fina

May 13, 2011 1 comment

Ahhhh. Yes, indubitably  that was a sigh.  I just spent 5 glorious days on the Island of Puerto Rico where I pretty much didn’t have to do anything.  It was wonderful.

I accompanied a friend of mine, who won an all-expense paid trip through his job with  Best Buy;  and here is a shout-out to you, you are one of my new favorite retailers!

I cannot tell you how heavenly it was to be awake and lying in front of the ocean by 8am, only to be interrupted to eat breakfast at 11am, and not feel the least bit guilty!  I mean, seriously, if I attempt to go to the lake to catch some rays while at home, my mind is always reminding me of the millions of things I should be doing instead.  Or I am with my kids and want to be making fun memories for them instead of indulging myself.

The highlight of the trip was an excursion we took to the bio-luminescent bay in Vieques, Puerto Rico.  Biobay is one of the few places on earth where the water actually glows green when you touch it.  We took a guided tour at night and paddling a kayak into a protected cove, through a canopy of trees, in the pitch-black night.  When you get far enough in, if you place your hand under water and swish it around, it emits a green glowing color.  If you lift up a handful, your hand is sparkling with green diamonds.  It was so amazing.  The quiet darkness, the serene water, the glow of the ocean, was truly magical.  Our guide explained the why the water does that but, I can’t remember exactly why, and honestly, I don’t care.  I am happy to think of it as a magical wonder of the world.

Photo Credit: Neall Dollhopf